She definitely wasn't old enough. I'm looking at pictures of my mom and that's who she is now. A bunch of pictures from a long time ago. Its like she didn't want to live as an old woman, she wanted to be young forever and that's how I'll remember her. I get it, I feel like that sometimes. Like my life is on the downswing because I'm old. I see how she could have felt like it's not worth it. Knowing what life could be, and what it was, and not wanting to be anything less. I feel that sense of loss, of my young self. and we have facebook so we can find all our long lost friends who remind us even worse. But then I feel like maybe life starts at 50. That's when the kids will be starting to get out on their own, freeing us up to be kids again and go on vacations and travel.

it's just sad how for years, mom was feeling regret.